All Good Irishmen Observe Lent

Also from Disputations:

PAT: And what will you be giving up for Lent then?

MIKE: Sure and begob, I won't drink whiskey and beer until after the Easter Vigil.

PAT: Not drink whiskey and beer? Faith and begorrah! How will you manage?

MIKE: Well, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I'll drink whiskey without beer, and the rest of the week it's beer without whiskey.



Elsewhere, one reads this longer meditation on the same theme:

AN IRISH TALE
by John T. Baker

When Paddy moved to County Cork,
The lad knew not one soul,
But straightaway he found the pub,
The local "Glory Hole."

"I'll have three beers," he promptly told
The old bartender, who
First raised his eyebrows, then complied,
And Paddy downed his brew.

"I'll have three more now, if you please!"
Once more he drank them down;
Next day the same thing happened and
The news ran round the town.

The folks were whispering about
"The Man Who Has Three Beers;"
It caused the most excitement that
The town had known for years.

The same routine went on each day;
The old bartender, Dan,
At last decided to find out
About this drinking man.

"I do not mean to pry, me lad,"
Said Dan, "but don't you see,
The whole town's wondering just why
You always order three."

"Tis odd," said Paddy, "that I know,
Uncommon I'll allow,
But I've two brothers overseas
With whom I've made a vow.

"Before they left, we promised that
Whenever we would drink,
We'd always have an extra two
And of the others think."

Well, this went on for quite a while
Until it was one day
That Paddy came into the pub
And Dan then heard him say:

"I'll have two beers today, not three;
Two beers, that's all," he said;
Dan knew at once the news was sad,
One brother must be dead.

The word flew fast throughout the town
And many a prayer was said
To ease the pain and save the soul
Of that poor brother dead.

Next day when Paddy in the pub
Called, "Just two beers today,"
Dan poured them out and wiped a tear
And turned to him to say:

"Condolences . . . here, Paddy, lad,
Drink up, I'll stand the cost.
The town joins me in grieving for
The brother you have lost."

"That's good of you," said Paddy then,
Still drinking all the while,"
And if you're buying, bring two more,"
He thanked him with a smile.

"My brothers are alive and well,
There's nothing to lament;
Tis I, meself, that's giving up
The drinking now for Lent."